Comments on: Excuses

By: dr. b.

dr. b. — Wed, 31 Dec 1969 17:00:00 +0000

Those appear to be demitasse cup holders, I have some that are similar but the handlels aren’t as long.

By: Mike

Mike — Wed, 31 Dec 1969 17:00:00 +0000

Dr. B — thanks! Oddly, my mom doesn’t seem to have had the actual demitasse cups to go with them, so I suppose I’ll just have to throw a pretend tea party, where we can all sit around with our demitasse holders, sipping air. With pinkies extended, of course.

By: Michelle

Michelle — Wed, 31 Dec 1969 17:00:00 +0000

Sipping air, ha!

You’re in a tough position with the inventory and your brother not able to look through it with you. Couldn’t you put it all in a storage facility until he’s available? Or would that me too inefficient?

By: Mike

Mike — Wed, 31 Dec 1969 17:00:00 +0000

Michelle, you’re absolutely right, and I was completely over-analyzing and over-intellectualizing the situation. Put everything in boxes and wait until he gets out and say, “Hey, Dave. I thought you’d be the best one to make a decision on this stuff.” Thanks for the voice of common sense.

By: Michelle

Michelle — Wed, 31 Dec 1969 17:00:00 +0000

Oh. Well, sure, you’re welcome. I didn’t know if there was some reason I wouldn’t know about why you couldn’t store it but I knew you’d just hauled it back so I thought maybe it wasn’t feasible from that standpoint.

The line about the cookie jar was a little heartbreaking, btw. I think my mother still has the same cookie jar, too.

Hope it all works out.

By: John

John — Wed, 31 Dec 1969 17:00:00 +0000

Yeah, performing family triage is really tough. My brother Mike and I were the prime sorters at my parents’ place after Mom had died and Dad was in a nursing home. I did software (pictures, papers, books) and Mike did hardware (tools, bowling trophies). Mike filled a dumpster and I created seven packages, one for each of the siblings. Mike and I took our packages home to California on the plane. The two Cleveland siblings tooks theirs by car. And the Wash DC three got theirs by FedEx. I think you are very smart to let David make some of his own decisions. It’s amazing how each sibling had emotional attachments to different material goods: the sewing machine, the Victrola, the glassware. I just wanted words and images.

By: Mike

Mike — Wed, 31 Dec 1969 17:00:00 +0000

I think part of the difficulty I had is that the prison system has made David so helpless, for so long, that I habitually think about how to do things for him. It took Michelle’s good sense to point out to me that there was a much simpler option — and I now see that this is one instance where I can’t let David be helpless, for his sake and for my own. I wonder how much the helplessness that convicts learn in prison contributes to recidivism.

But yeah, the different types of things that we’re attached to is amazing. David and I worked out all the big stuff in letters to one another; I was mostly interested in furniture and books, and he was mostly interested in kitchen stuff and dinnerware. It came out well.

By: cindy

cindy — Wed, 31 Dec 1969 17:00:00 +0000

I haven’t sat down and really read blogs for the past few days, so Michelle beat me to it, but I’ll say it again anyway: yes, put it all in storage!

As I read your question about the cookie jar, my heart clenched and I said, of course, it’s vitally important to save it! At least until you and David can look at it together. And even then…

It’s a little scary to me how strongly I feel this.